You are the sum total of your experiences, views, beliefs and choices
Between the ages of 0 and 7, most of them got engraved into your subconscious and you titled them your personality.
Unconsciously you make the same choices, date the same people, go to the same places and become friends with the same kind of people which perpetuates the same experiences which further convinces you that the game is rigged, that there’s a master puppeteer somewhere pulling the strings
You are partly correct, there is a master puppeteer but that puppeteer is not out there, he/she is in you, you’re subconscious
Remember Where It Started
As challenge number 1 in Navy Seal David Goggins’ book Can’t Hurt Me
you are asked to rehash your childhood, every single piece of fucked up event in gory detail, everything that you have done, everything that has happened to you, everything you have buried deep inside and vowed to never bring back up, you are challenged to bring it back up
For it is the puppeteer that’s quietly pulling the strings on your life, through fears, insecurities, beliefs, bad habits ,and terrible choices in career, friends ,and relationships, it is their playwright that keeps you in the same path you keep trying and failing to get out of
And until you blast a blinding light on that play writer, until you go back and see that which made you, your path will always circulate back to where you are now
As Olivia Mogorosi likes to say “no matter how well you want to build the house, no matter how good the material, if the foundation is cracked, weak or poor, it will always fall”
This is nothing you ever have to admit to anyone but you know everything that happened in your childhood, no matter how small, petty or seemingly insignificant it may have seemed, you know the shit that happened in your childhood that makes your heart sink, that gives you the chills and swells tears in your eyes
Write it down, write it all down and if you don’t like writing, take out a recorder on your phone and just start talking, because that is where it all began and until that foundation is exposed and improved upon, all else that comes after it will be rendered null and void
All your habits are hard to break because they are hardwired by countless repetitions and intense emotions
and to create new habits you will require the same, you will have to do these things when you’re tired, when you’re bored of them, when you’re no longer interested in them, when you’re feeling happy, angry, sad, horny, or just plain distracted, and that is how they will stick
David Goggins, Tom Bilyeu, Tony Robbins, Gary Vee, Patrice Motsepe, Tupac, Michael Jackson, Brenda Fassie, in all their stories reigns the power of repetition, that is because this is not a journey of physical acquisition,
This is a journey of self-mastery, self-respect and mental toughness, and as Tom Bilyeu famously states, “the whole point of life, what we call satisfaction is the desire to “feel good about yourself when you’re by yourself””
A Raw Example (don’t cry)
My story is not important but I would be a hypocrite if I advised being raw while not doing it myself, here is a piece from my beginning:
“Soon I made my first friend, a delinquent with a glass eye in the same grade as me, he would turn on me every chance he got to be part of the cool kids until they would turn on him and he’d come back, ask for forgiveness and we’d be friends again, we’d skip school and drink every chance we got, he’s mom and my mom were friends and they had both come from the same hood
He loved dogs, I wasn’t a fan but the neighborhood had a very high rate of house break-ins, so I convinced my mom it would be a good idea, we got it, it shat itself and hide between rocks the second it arrived, I don’t know where it had come from but that dog had some serious PTSD, despite its severe shaking and wailing, one day before we went to school, Sabelo (my new friend) showed up to see my new dog, he noticed how scared it was and somehow began calming it down, despite his fucked up delinquency, the muthafucka as a dog whisperer, the dog calmed down and we chilled a bit longer, soon it was late to go to school so we decided to skip, we went outside to play with the dog (which I knew was a bad idea) and a neighbor saw us
At the time we were living in our newly built house which had no electricity or furniture or even paint on the walls, that evening my mom came home, took the steel end of a belt and proceeded to beat me over the head with it repeated until my head was full of open wounds and blood was dripping down my face. Despite the horror of the situation I didn’t feel much pain, physically or emotionally, to me I was paying a necessary price to have a friend I had never had and it was worth it, I didn’t cry out for her to stop nor did I cry period, when she was done, I looked at her but she wasn’t done
In the den of night she marched me up the street to where my friend lived, we walked into the yard and my mom began yelling out his mom’s name, she walked out and her face went pale, tears began falling from her eyes from sheer shock as she asked how my mom could do this, I was still unfazed until mom my demanded she bring Sabelo out so he could see what would happen to me if he ever hung out with me again, he walked out with his stepdad (yes, he was a relic of his mom’s before life too) and that’s when the walls broke and I cried”
This is not a story about me
In truth my tale matters little to the relevance of this post, the purpose for my recounting of my begins is to show you that you can do it too, that your story matters, if to no one else, it matters to you,
it will always matter to you, and until you acknowledge it and face it, wholly and fully, it will keep pulling you back from your dreams, goals and desires, for it is a part of your story too,
It is the beginning, and it matters
Thank you for taking the time to read this
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efharisto (ef-hah-rees-TOH)
Voice Of Mechanics 