The man who has 10 coins and gives away 9 of them will always be held in higher esteem than the man who has 100 coins and gives away 9
We value people for their self-sacrifice and not for what they give us
…what it costs to them rather than what it means to us, this is why we insist on knowing them first, to better understand what it means to them
Because the percentage of what they give, as opposed to the amount is an indication of how much they value us
Similarly, when your enemy comes to hurt you, they aim for the percentage-weighed pound of flesh as opposed to the amount
This is also why in negotiations, seasoned negotiators will always make something on the agenda seem more valuable than it is so that when the time is right, they can “sacrifice” it for what they desire
And we, valuing this based on their perceived value, will honor their “sacrifice” with a large sacrifice of our own
A piece of chocolate means the world to a child or a woman, while it’s barely worth noticing to Willy Wonka
The proportion always matters to us
It speaks volumes:
what does the person think of the recipient?
How much do they value what they have?
How much are they willing to sacrifice?
Are they willing to sacrifice anything period?
Whenever you receive, be thankful
But as Robert Greene once wrote “always insist on paying the full fare”
Know how much it cost them
So if they ever come asking for something in return, you do not give more than they gave by using amount, instead of the preposition
The rhythm was incessant, insistent, and I was pulling so hard at the tie on my wrists I knew I’d bruise, I needed to bruise.
He lifted his head, letting his thumb take over where his mouth had been.
“Are you going to come for me, baby?“
“Mmmhmm” I nodded, whimpering under his touch
I felt the tip of his tongue touch my throbbing clit, my body immediately went tense and I could feel what felt like a waterfall gushing out of me so hard and so intensely that all I could do was hold on to the bonds holding me in place
“shhhhhit, oh my god, oh my god, oh fuck”
Words, sounds, moans flying from my lips so uncontrollably
He lifted his head and rubbed my clit with his thumb while soaking in my cum as I panted like a puppy struggling to catch my breath
“Goooood, just let it flow” His voice humming in such a low base resonance that I could feel myself swelling up with cum and slowly losing my composure again
I tried to squeeze my thighs together but he firmly held them apart
“pleeease, please fuck” I felt these words leave my mouth and a part of me couldn’t believe how intense this moment was getting
He blew cool air on my wet pussy and a chill shot down my spit as I felt my nipples tingling and my clit throbbing to be touched
He moved his lips close, slowly blew a second breath and his tongue touched the sweetest spot on my clit and I felt the loudest scream leave my lungs while the bed got drenched
He watched she shake, quiver, melt, moan and shrink under his touch
I panted, heavily this time, looking at him with mixed feelings of defiance, ecstasy, and exhaustion
“oooh come now love, don’t look at me like that, we’re just getting started”
His words echoed like an omen, and I could feel a sadistic pleasure in his voice as he lowed his pants, his dick pulsing
His fingers began slowly sliding from my toes to my ankle, towards my calf…
I squeezed my thighs so hard I could feel my hip movements slightly rubbing my clit, which had me panting like a puppy again
They went up to my knees and towards my inner thighs as they parted with zero resistance
He started kissing the back of my knees, moving his lips, slow and cool breaths into my inner thighs, licking from the bottom of my pussy lips towards the clit
Up towards my belly button, his lips slowly following where his fingers traced, the fingers traced under, around, on top, and in between my breasts, teasing my nipples, which were touched by his lips and tongue
His lips went up to my neck, behind my ear
And as I could feel my tummy playing acrobatics from him playing with my earlobe, I felt this unbelievably hot feeling between my thighs, his tip touched my clit and my body began convulsing as I came all over his dick
Feeling my thighs close, he slid it so deep into my drenched cunt that I jackhammered like a rabbit in heat, all reason, control now a distant dream
He pumped so hard, so fast and so deeply that each time it went in, I could feel it pulse within me before he’d slid it out again
The tip moving just to the edge of my pussy lips before sliding it back it
My whole body moving, grinding, moaning, screaming, yearning, shrinking, riding…
I felt myself swell a 4th time as he picked up his speed, his cock feeling larger and going deeper, touching me at a spot so sensitive deep in my cunt, that I didn’t even know existed
I felt tense, grunt, his cock began pulsing inside my pussy which was now overflowing with such luscious juices that I went over the cliff and juices squirt over his stomach, drenching my belly button
He tried to pull out but collapsed his head on my chest, breathing so heavily that I could feel his heartbeat
The warmth of his body, the softness of his skin, I just wanted to hold him and never let go, he turned his head to look at me and asked if I’m okay
With a shy look on my head, I nodded as he untied my now bruised hands
He got massage oil and began rubbing the bruises as he held me
Never in my wildest dreams did I think this is how bondage felt
Almost immediately after arriving the girls were subtly fighting for his attention while I fought to stay relevant to the situation, eventually, one of them gave in and left, so it was 3 of us left, 2 guys, 1 girl, quickly assessing the situation, I left the room to my now all-to-familiar exile so he could do his thing
A few hours later he came to call me in so we could sleep, and there we were, 3 of us in the same bed, I remembered being woken up by movement which at first I thought was someone else waking up
But quickly my brain became realizing that this was not the movement of waking up but of two people fucking, my mind flew into full panic, with a deep feeling of humiliation and embarrassment
I got up and went out, after a while, he came out, with a sly grin, apologized and asked if I want some food, I told him I was alright, he could finish and let me know when he was done, he said that he was done and she was just getting ready to leave
I went back in, sat in front of the laptop, started working on the proposal I had promised a potential client when through the music in the headsets, I could hear a scuffle behind me, I turned around and he was fucking again
Feeling my sense of self-worth and manhood challenged, I went to her face, pulled my dick out, and started jacking off, by far the most outrageous thing I had ever done in my life, he didn’t like that and proceeded to bring it up multiple times in the following days
At about the 4th-5th week period, I get a text from a cousin whose managing a large retail store that they’re looking for temp workers and that a month’s salary could give me enough to cover the remainder of the fee to pay for my medical license
Upon leaving Kevin gives me 1.5K, tells me that he needs some time to recover emotionally and that he’ll let me know when I can come back so we can continue working
2 and a half years pass and I receive this text from him (add screenshots of the texts)
I proceed to tell him that I left all that behind me, that I didn’t blame him for his actions or words, because I understood what he was going through
I meet up with him on a Sunday for drinks and he was carrying large bags, we get to a chill spot, ordered some drinks and he proceeded to tell me that he was squatting with his ex-girlfriend (remember the girl who felt for me while I was freezing my ass off?)
And that after a while of staying together she wrote him a letter kicking him out, we brushed it off as we continued drinking, listening to him tell me story after story of everything that had transpired in the past 2 and a half years
In between him chasing every tail he saw passing by that was between him cursing out fast-food workers and nearly fighting a bouncer
He spends the night at my place, next day we go out to go get some more weed, through some incompetence from our florist, we start walking around in town to pass the time while waiting
He sees a girl, greets her, and asks for her number while I watch from a distance, the girl looks at me and asks me if she should give him her number, thinking about how he always collects numbers but never closes, I ask her where she’s going and wouldn’t it be better if he walks her and she can make that decision for herself
We walk to the garage, she gets ice cream, he gets a bottle of sparkling water, we walk her back to her place, he doesn’t close, she ends up taking my number just conclude the awkwardness
While we’re walking, there’s silence and tension, eventually, he points out that when she asked me if she should give him her number I should’ve just said yes but I took the chance to take the spotlight
I pointed out that that was not the intention, the intention was to give him the chance to close, he told me that maybe back then he needed that kind of help but he didn’t this time, I took that as a lesson that perhaps I overstepped and agreed
But the tension didn’t subside, and this time it wasn’t just coming from him because now I had my own questions
The phrasing of “…took the spotlight…”kept bothering me because my mind kept replaying all the times he was the star of the show and no one said anything
Then I remembered a friend scolding me because I messed up a double date we had by “dimming my light”, my curiosity and interest, to the point where the girls felt that I wasn’t interested and left, the next day he said to me:
“Never downplay yourself to avoid offending someone’s ego, never ever dim your light for someone else”
So I took a few minutes in silence going back and forth about whether I should ask or shut up
Eventually, I asked: “Are you threatened by me?”
I saw his face twist between anger and serious concentration, then he responded
“Maybe back then but not now, now it’s something else…”
He never did finish that thought
But the response was enough for me
Throughout the nearly 15 years of knowing each other, we always had an unease around each other, which I took as simply being treated as inferior because I was inferior in a lot of ways
Then in later years, I presumed that the tension was because I had become sly, cunning, and very manipulative during my early 20’s because I was sly, cunning, and manipulative
During my time at his place, I took the tension and animosity as a price I had to pay for the situation I had put him in by invading his life
And now, 15 years later of a very complex relationship, I finally learned what the anger, aggressiveness, mistrust, and dislike was about because I finally had the courage, the audacity to ask the question
Now after reading this lengthy tale, ask yourself, what assumptions are you making about the ones around you, what questions are you not asking for fear of seeming cocky, offensive, or insensitive?
You have a model in your head of what your relationship with someone is like and why it’s like that but is it like that?! and If it is, why not ask to confirm?
No more accidentally clashing, offending, disturbing, or bothering those around you because you’ve assumed that your relationship with them is one way without ever having had asked to finally confirm and be on the same page with them
Ask yourself this question, do you have 15 years to spare on assumptions, frienemies, and misunderstandings because you won’t have the courage to simply ask those hard questions?
The first thing you must unlearn is fear, fear of death, fear of ridicule, fear of rejection, of loss, fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of being wrong, irritating, annoying, fear of being called a fool
Or to be more precise, unlearn the responses to the fear, for fear only alerts you to that which may significantly alter your life, for better, or worse
Fight, flight, or freeze, all completely natural and expected responses to norm-threatening people, situations, and things, and all completely incorrect responses
For each drains the blood from your prefrontal cortex (your thinking brain) and disables your ability to reason and think through the problem
And unfortunately, nearly all problems you will face in this day and age will be a puzzle of one form or another, made to seem simple, made to seem straightforward, made to seem like it only has one obvious answer
And answer you’ll only think “obvious” answer is the correct answer because you’re not thinking clearly
What’s the correct numerical answer to the next question
“How many of each animal did God command Moses take onto the arch?”
If your answer was “2” then you should probably read the question again and reconsider the validity of the question, to begin with
Because the correct answer is “0” since God never asked Moses to take any animals onto the arch, it was Noah
First Thing You Must Do
Become bold, Audacity is the Great equalizer, Timidity is The Great Usurper- even if completely uncertain, always attack your next step with boldness
Yes, confidence indeed comes from competence so you must do your due diligence but when it comes time to act, throw all caution to the wind and leap like it’s your last day on earth
Be Audacious… We remember and revere the bold and doubt the timid, skill and competence aside
Your fear will never completely leave you, but it will always increase or step aside based on how you respond to it
“Lelo!” His voice was sharp. “Give me your hands.”
I did. He held my wrists in the stretched of one big hand, lifting them over my head. Laying me down.
I watched the pulse hammer in his throat as he leaned down to tie me to the headboard. The knots weren’t tight, but I had no interest in trying to get away.
I laid stretched out on his bed, and he finally- finally- unzipped my skirt and slid it down my legs.
To be honest, I hadn’t expected to be naked in front of him when I got dressed that evening. I’d indulged in some wishful thinking (as I did all the time), but I didn’t own any sexy underwear.
Tonight’s panties cut a little high up on my cheeks. Nothing special. But he murmured,
“Jesus, look at you.” I blushed and looked away.
His hands slid up my thighs and his fingers curled around the waistband of my panties and pulled them down. The lights were on, he looked, like he’d looked at everything else like he could memorize it.
“Shhhh…” he said again and looked up at me.
“Are you going to make me gag you?“
Heat shot through me like fireworks. I shyly shook my head
He slid my panties down over my calves, and over my feet. He examined them, put them in his pocket, and then turned his attention back to me.
His palms pressed against my thighs, easing them apart.
“Oh, God Oh God Oh God…” My inner voice was moaning
His fingers feathered over my hips, my stomach. My muscles danced under his touch. I wanted to plunge my hands around his waist, and it took pulling against the tie around my wrists to remember I couldn’t.
I whimpered, my hips pressing up to meet his hands. He slid his hand between my legs again, velvet slick wetness there. My eyes fluttered shut, and I groaned. I felt like I was coming apart, and he hadn’t even gotten inside me yet.
“Thabiso“, I whispered. “Pleeease.”
“Shhh, Love. Breeeathe”
I opened my eyes, saw him watching me with a hooded expression. He knelt between my legs, pants tight across powerful thighs.
“Don’t move,” he said, sliding his hands down around my calves. The heat radiating off of his skin penetrating my pulse.
He pushed my knees up, my feet flat on the bed.
“Let me take care of what’s mine.”
I wanted to run at that moment, more than any other time, watching his face, this powerful man putting me at the center of his universe for these few minutes- but his eyes trapped me, held me in place as he leaned forward, dipping his head. No one had done this before.
“You’re shaking,” he said softly.
How hands hadn’t stopped moving: up to my legs, over my hips, his palms tracing the curve of my waist, my ribs.
“Are you okay? Would you like me to slow down?”
I shook my head.
“Tell me if I do,” he said.
“Say the words.”
“I’m okay,” I moaned in a whisper. “I’ll tell you if I’m not.”
My composure was slipping, I felt like melting chocolate under a hot sun
“That’s my girl.” He smiled.
His hands moved back down my stomach, up my thighs, and he pressed my knees farther apart. The cool air on wet skin. He slid his knees back, lowering his chest to the mattress, curling his arms around my hips, all in one fluid motion, all grace, and power.
The first brush of his lips against mine was electric: I jerked as if I had been shocked and his arms tightened around me. I was staring down at him, in surprise, in awe, in- I don’t know, I didn’t know anything right then and he looked up at me, those hazel eyes.
How fingers pressed into my hips, into that sensitive spot between my thigh and labia, and the noise I made was only barely human.
“I love how sensitive you are.”
The heat of his breath felt like a beast’s yearning to devour its slice of meat.
“…And how sweet you taste.”
He kissed me like I was kissing him back, dragging lips, heat singing through me, pleasure crawling through my belly, spreading through my hips like fingers. His nose brushed my clit, and my back arched so sharply he dug his fingers into my thighs to keep me steady.
And instead of backing off, instead of letting me breathe, he turned the full attention of his mouth to it, holding tightly, following the movement of my hips.
His tongue traced the contour of my cunt, his beard brushing soft against my inner thighs.
Every muscle in my body was flexed and hard against him, against my bonds, the pressure ratcheted uptight and hot in my midsection. I wanted to curl up into a ball, I wanted to wrap my arms and legs around him.
I wanted his grip to bruise me. I wanted to come so bad I could barely breathe.
He uncurled one arm from around my hips, and I felt his fingers brush my ass, under his chin. His tongue dragged up the length of my lips, fingers following the trail, pushing into me at the same time he sucked my clit into his mouth.
My cry was sharp and loud and made me acutely aware of the silence in the room, of the sounds he was making, the sounds I was making, but he hummed again and smiled against my cunt. He flipped his hand over, palm up, and curled his fingers.
In this life, we have friends, allies, enemies, strangers, and observers, but it is in our frienemies that we face the most danger, for it is in them that we never truly know where our fate lies
Sometimes your growth will show itself in the simplest but extremely difficult things, please allow me a moment to share a personal story
Growing up, I had a friend, in our younger years and even in our adulthood he was the wonder boy, that guy who seemingly become great at everything he tried, let’s call him Kevin
Kevin was the boy from the broken home, who had no escape but whatever craft he could get his hands on, and in each of those crafts he’d throw himself so deeply and so heavily that mastery became an inevitability
But deep-seated emotional issues do not yield to external success, with each mastered craft he’d feel himself moving further and further away from everything that caused him so much pain, burying the issues deeper, like a seed in fertile soil
Eventually, Kevin and I left our hometown to pursue greatness, we’d alternate between being stable enough to support the other and needing a place of refuge to keep from ending up back in our hometown
The same hometown where friends, family, allies, and enemies began dying from random car accidents, political hits, and tender rivalries
In late 2018, after quitting my paramedic’s job to recompose myself from the death of a girlfriend 3 years earlier, I was running a small food business to cover living expenses and become the person I’ve always wanted to become
When I got an email from the Health Professional Council Of South Africa (HPCSA) informing me that after years of not paying my annual fee my license was in danger of being suspended indefinitely
Without much thought, I contacted Kevin and asked if I could work for him in his photography business to start extracting the true value it’s always been capable of and grow it to its true potential
In return I would take 10% of all the business I would bring, with the extremely high amount accrued over years of unpaid fees and penalties, I knew that even if I completely liquidated my business I still would be nowhere near the amount I needed
Kevin agreed, I took a few clothes and took off across cities to the media capital of South Africa, immediately I learned that this would be much harder than I first conceived
Kevin had a routine and a certain system that he created which yielded the immediate pleasures he needed to do the work he loved while simultaneously providing the capital to fund the lifestyle
The routine would be: wake up, smoke a joint, take a shower, brush teeth, have a glass or two of wine, head to the media house he worked at, smoke at least half a pack of cigarettes, return around 3-4pm, drink a bottle of wine, have dinner then spend the night with the female company he would have acquired for that night
My presence created some complications in that routine since his place was a commune in which only his room was completely his, we had to share that space, female company meant I either had to sit outside in rain, freezing cold or under clear stars until early hours of the morning or he would be at their place
One bottle of wine turned into two bottles, which was eventually companied by a 750ml bottle of Gin/Vodka, daily
This arrangement was hard on our friendship, I had taken my entire life and imposed it upon his and though he agreed, the hostility, antagonism, and tension was undeniable, and growing by the day
Meanwhile, I sort to shrink myself more and more to either nourish his way of life or stay completely out the way when I couldn’t, while at the same time making sure I was hunting down new business and slowly making his routines conducive to big business and larger clients
But three incidents showed me I was fighting a losing battle
The first was about 2 weeks after I began squatting at his place, it was around 1-2pm, I went to the store to buy bread and a few noodle packets, upon leaving the store, I noticed him walking home, ahead of me
With headphones glaring, and weed smoke in the air, I decided to not disturb him, after a few blocks I noticed that he wasn’t heading to the spot, curious as to whether this was to avoid his now invaded sanctuary or to meet up with a female, I followed
He walked nearly 8 blocks before turning around and heading to his place while downing a 330ml of gin
The second incidence was when his girlfriend came to visit, this night was especially cold, with barely a proper pair of pants to keep my nuts from falling off, and were it not for the girlfriend telling him that what he was doing was cruel and that she’d rather leave or they should go to his place, I was homeless for that night
The third was when he invited two girls he had already made plans to sleep with hoping that I could either convince one of them to get with me or at the very least keep her company while he took care of the other one
“You don’t pay a sex worker for sex, you pay her to leave” a friend used to always say this line and only 15 years later did I come to understand that she meant
You don’t pay the doctor to give you drugs, you pay the doctor for knowing which drugs to give you
Just like we don’t pay coaches (life coaches, soccer coaches, motivational speakers) to speak, we pay them to know what to say and when to say it
Drug dealers get paid less per pop because they give you whatever you want
Pharmacist gets paid more per pop (if their contracts were structured right) because they’re drug dealers with a code, you can only have this drug if you meet certain criteria: you’re not pregnant, underage, you have the agree-upon amount
Doctors need to know everything about you before they give you a single pop of anything: what is wrong?
When did it start?
What were you doing?
What did you do for it?
Anyone else feeling the same?
Forget about equality, it just can’t work
Everyone is different
Women can have babies but men can’t
On average, Men are much larger than women,
Africans are less prone to skin cancer than Caucasians
So even at birth, there are some advantages you simply have because you were born African, Caucasian, male, female, fully-abled, disabled, American, Asian
And when it’s all said and done, and in any given race some might be culturally and/or genetically ahead or behind
You get paid, you get to live, you get to eat, have a partner, have kids, own more IOU’s (money) than the next person
Because of what you know, not who you are
Always remember, you don’t pay the plumber to bang on pipes, you pay her for knowing which pipes to bang on
Last Saturday my wife and I got invited to a friend’s wife’s birthday party. Some farm in the middle of nowhere near Krugersdorp.
We decided to go for afternoon drinks before going to the party. And it was all good and fun. When we got to the party, it was around 7’ish and most folks were starting to get into the groove after afternoon drinks.
Well, to cut the story short, the party was great and just about everyone was intoxicated late in the evening. There were a couple of pretty ladies and handsome gents! So the choice was galore.
At first, it was not even in our mind or plan to even get naughty… but you know what drinks get you to do… Lol!
I went out to get a breather on the patio and a couple of ladies were sitting there and chatting.
I decided to join them, a couple of people were outside. My wife was with some gents and a group of ladies and all was normal and good.
Then suddenly this lesbian said to me that my lady was hot. At first, I laughed it off, but she kept repeating it. I asked her if she wanted her.
Without a thought, she said “yeah!”
I said “go get her”
After a few hours of fun, I realized my wife was missing. I was kinda worried as she never disappears without letting me know. So I started searching for her, without a panic though.
After a while, I went to the downstairs bathroom and the door was closed, not locked, as I pushed it felt like someone was rather leaned against the door.
So I knocked and no answer, but heard a few giggles… For some reason, I pushed the door and it opened…
Alas, there she was with the lesbian… “oopsy!!!”
Was not sure how to react. My wife was wearing a dress, no panties as usual. And she was seated on the toilet seat, with the lady half-naked.
All I could ask was, “What’s going on here?”
The answer “Wanna see?”
At that point, they pulled me and we ran to the nearest room and they put me on the chair.
I watched the lady as she undressed my wife and undressed herself. Must say she had an amazing body, pretty clean and sculpted… She started going down on my wife, eating her pussy slowly and gently.
My wife was groaning and breathing deep. She moved up as she went for her D sized firm boobies, the nipples standing firm, waiting to be licked, they started kissing and I felt my dick say “hallelujah”
She went on her and the pussies touched… they started rubbing, first slow, then hard… At this point, I could feel my body heating up…
They started fucking hard and I could hear the wet pussies as they kissed… It was like they forgot I was there
Then without a thought, the lady came to me, took my hand, pulling me, then held my dick and inserted me into my wife’s pussy… she started kissing me as I fucked my wife…
Then my wife pushed me away, stood up, and turned the lady onto her fours… she took my dick and rubbed it on her pussy…
I don’t even know where the condom came from, but my wife was putting it on me with her mouth… Then I went in… Oohhhhhhh… Heaven was in Krugersdorp…
Lol…. our session went for a while as we changed positions, on the bed, on the carpet on the wall….. After a while, we all stopped as we laid exhausted on the bed… looking at the ceiling and smiling from ear to ear…..
Then, boom, the door opened wide, the owner of the room, “What the fuck!?”… Those were the last words we heard as we ran back to the bathroom to dress up…
The rest of the party was great, as the 3 of us sat on the couch and talked like nothing happened… Everyone else, was clueless about what had just happened, and the room owner, just looked at us disgusted, but with a face that envied what she saw…
This particular post is inspired by the works of Jordan Peterson
Some people are not moral, they are obedient
These people don’t do the right thing because it is the right thing to do or because their conscience would bother them if they didn’t, these are the people that do the right thing because if they didn’t they’d get in trouble
They do/say the right thing as an aversion to the pain of being caught, of being punished
You know these people, you’ve been friends with them, you’ve dated them, you work with them, some of them are in your circle or your relationship right now
Warning: if you are a liar (compulsively or otherwise) here’s something you might not have noticed, the lie helps, especially the times when you get away with it
But a lie only takes care of the current you, meaning often it delays consequences for the current you while allowing them to fester and become a problem for future you, you two hours, 2 days, 2 weeks from now
Because the one thing about the results of actions (consequences or rewards) is that they always come due, let no one lie to you, eventually, you will have to pay the piper or he will come for your kids i.e. the fruits of your labor
Those things you’re trying to get without earning
Consider this the next time you have the opportunity to avoid consequences with a false truth
Signs Of Growth
Growth is you opening yourself up to challenge and difficulty to grow from said challenge and difficulty by learning from and overcoming this difficulty
Much of the time, this difficulty is psychologically painful, torturous, but it also puts pressure on your relationships and those around you, and this is when you start learning who people truly are
Because “tough times don’t just build character, they reveal it”
It is during this time that fainting ignorance and embracing silence will be your greatest ally
Because it is in this time that you are not so much so trying to catch people fucking up but learn who they are when shit hits the fanny pack
Those who will break a promise and say nothing waiting for you to bring it up so they can bombard you with excuses making it seem like you are being selfish and insensitive as if it wasn’t them who promised in the first place
Those who will avoid the consequences by lying and pretending, betraying trust and loyalty to not have to take ownership of the results of their actions
These are the people who will likely not be honest with you if they feel that you might not take it well
These are the people likely to speak quite critically of you when you are not there and are unlikely to find out
These are the people who will act in ways contrary to how they would act in your presence or if there is a risk of you finding out
Finding The Usurper
Do not misunderstand, they are not bad people, because they are us, we do not always speak the truth, act virtuously or morally, we do not always tell people what exactly we think or feel
It is just more pronounced in some than in others
And before you pardon yourself from this category, understand this, consciousness (awareness) is a spotlight on a very vast field, and while it is paying attention to one thing, over a million other things are happening
This is why we humans act in groups because while you’re looking left, another will look right, while others will look forward, backward, above, and below
But here’s the secret sauce, the dynamics of that group exist on one fundamental virtue: honesty and trust!
Trust that if there’s danger coming from any side, the person responsible for that side will speak loud, clear, and promptly
Trust that the person responsible for that side will not dose off, fuck around and spend his/her entire time figuring out how not to watch out for danger while leaving the rest of you to keep thinking that he/she is
Trust that if one of you starts fucking up, the one who catches them will not gossip about it, keep it to themselves because they’re understanding but they will tell them to shake up and hold them accountable
Trust that if there is an opportunity on one person’s side, they will share that information with the whole group so that everyone can share in the spoils
This is the whole reason why you have a circle of friends, a circle of allies, a circle of colleagues, a circle of advisors
Because success in nearly any endeavor is a team sport, it takes a group
But it takes the right group: who are honest, who take ownership of everything they say/do, a group that holds each other accountable
True Purpose Of Growth
What you move towards, you value, whether you say you value it or not, if you’re moving towards it…
Okay, let’s put it a different way
If you spend time, money, energy, thought, conversations in connection with, or in service of it, you value it
Some people value results but they do not value methods or processes
So to some, as long as you give them what they want, it doesn’t matter how you got it
Let’s make it more practical:
In some relationships, it doesn’t matter if you drink yourself to sleep, screw half the town, and take drugs just to function during the day, as long as you’re there for sex, cuddling, dates, midnight conversations, and the occasional validation, then that’s fine
In some jobs/business endeavors, whether you bribe, cheat, lie, betray, manipulate, intimidate, steal or otherwise withhold certain information, as long as you achieve the results, there’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” unspoken rule they share
“It takes 20 years to gain 20 years’ worth of experience”
So “Beware of Unearned Wisdom”
“to he that much is given, much is expected” Proverbs, so whatever position, title, possession, the goal you are chasing, it comes with its own pressures, demands, requirements, pre-requisites, and costs
The journey you undertake towards that goal, position, possession, goal is meant to build you, teach you, mold you, make you who you need to be to have that, be that, lead them, it is giving you the price you will eventually have to pay to attain that goal
But avoiding pain, consequences, avoidance of taking ownership of results and outcomes quickly erodes trust, it erodes character, it erodes reputation, resolve, and will
And more than money, connections, skills, and time,
Trust, Character, Reputation, Resolve (the ability to take the pain and keep going), and Will are the most important determinants of success
Never be afraid to hold those around you accountable, regardless of their excuses
Never be afraid to cut off liars, cheaters, deceivers, manipulators, and otherwise anyone who makes it their mission to never take responsibility for their words/actions
Because it is not when someone cheats, steals, betrays that the trust is lost, it is the moment they lie, omit, manipulate or deceive to avoid consequences that the first brick of your foundation begins crumbling
Like attracts like, so thinking that you’re gonna hack, cheat and maneuver your way through your entire journey and that that philosophy will not only attract the best but retain it is delusional thinking
You can be the best
You can be a protégé
You can apprentice
But for that to be, you must be the pick of the litter, thee very best, you must be as Steve Martin says “so good they can’t ignore you”
And to be that good means being far better than everyone else in your field, and more importantly, being better than you were yesterday, having that kind of obsession
Warning: being chosen is a privilege, it is also a duty, far more will be asked of you than is being asked of those walking the same journey you are, far more will be demanded of you than is being demanded of those who were not chosen
You will be beaten, broken, torn, tortured, obliterated to create that which only a person of your substance can be, it is a privilege, not a right and like any privilege, it can be taken away
Now The Team
Once you’ve become the person you need to build the team you require
Comes the relatively easier part
Those who will become your greatest enemies will be those you beat on your path towards being the best
But that same group of defeated opponents is also where you will find your greatest allies and friendships
As with most things, the titles of friend, foe, and ally may change from day to day, situation to situation, battle to battle